1. I am a mean person.
2. The parking spots at my apartment are actually quite large.
3. Passive aggressive behavior drives me nuts.
A few days after I moved into my condo last year I met a few other people that lived in the building. One of the ladies mentioned her parking spot was next to mine. She very politely said she would try to park far away from our shared line because on the other side of my spot is a wall and on the other side of her spot is an empty, unused parking spot. But our parking spots are very deep so maybe I should park more towards the back and she could park more towards the front. Odd, but whatever, it didn't matter to me. We parked this way for a week and then one day her car (an ancient little VW) was parked right on the line. Annoying, but it was just one day no big deal. One day turned into one week. Then the car started collecting dust. Then the "Wash Me" someone wrote on it started to become unrecognizable because the dust started collecting dust. One year later it still hadn't moved. I'd become used to it. I was less annoyed with the fact that I had less room to get in and out of my car and more annoyed that if I accidentally bumped into her car I got dust all over me. Joy.
Then one day the car magically disappeared! I couldn't believe it; it was gone. After about a week it reappeared . . . clean! Days past and it appeared the owner was using the car quite regularly. Then one morning I noticed a piece of paper on the ground. I went to pick it up and throw it away when I noticed it was a note. Being the nosy person that I am, I started reading it. It was a note to me! From the crazy VW lady!
Hello,
As you can see my car is fixed and running again. [The Condo Maintenance Guy] had it moved as far back as possible to get a leak fixed and since it was not used I left it there until now that I am driving it. I would appreciate it if you would not mind parking yours further back so it is easier for me to back up. As for myself, this will make it easier for me to park as far away from the line so it will give you ample room to pull in your spot. [The previous tenant] and I found out this was best for our cars to have more room and this made it easier for the two of us to get in and out as well as get in and out of our car. I hope this will work for you and won't inconvenience you. My VW does not have power steering and this made it easier for me. Let me know if you have any other suggestions.
Thanks.
Your Parking Neighbor :)
As a matter of fact, yes, I do have a few suggestions. The first note in my head:
As you can see my car is running just fine and has been parking next to your dusty broken car for a year. I found that it is best for me when your car is not there. I hope this will work for you and won't inconvenience you. As you haven't needed a car for the past year, I figure you can do without it all together.
No, no. I can't be mean. Let me start over:
Glad to see your car is fixed. I'm also glad to see that it's clean and not parked on the line! I would appreciate it if you would not mind leaving your car in the most inconvenient spot possible for a full year. Anything other than that would be an improvement. Thanks.
No, that's not any better.
I've actually found that it is best for me to park as far forward as possible. This saves me about six steps round trip. I understand you don't have power steering but pulling forward or backwards in a straight line shouldn't be too difficult.
A note! Really a note was necessary? Fine, I can do passive aggressive.
Sure, anything to make it easier for you!
Okay, I must stop this. The last thing I want her to do is hit my car as she's trying to park. I've seen Driving Miss Daisy. How about I just do what the crazy lady asks and don't say anything. Fine.
My building attracts the oddest people ever.
8 comments:
This makes me laugh. In our old apartment in Virginia we had an old VW bug that sat in the same spot for over a year. And because we didn't have assigned spots and there were more cars than spots, if we got in late in the evening we sometimes had to park outside. And that stupid VW bug that was collecting dust had a prime spot. Ugh. And your parking neighbor is crazy. The fact that she needs a system to park in an assigned spot is proof. But I think your note back should just be asking for a diagram. I think that would help you understand her request better. :)
A diagram!!! That is genius! Especially because if you were familiar with the spot and her parking you would know that the note actually contradicts itself about what is front and what is back. Love it! See why I need you in my life :)
Haha. I think you could write any one of those notes and just end it with "and I mean that in the nicest possible way" and then it wouldn't be too offensive. :)
Hahaha! Those are funny (and fabulous) notes that you came up with Krissy. And I agree with Red...that should definitely wrap-up the letter. Seriously though, that person is a crazy face!!!
I love that you compose letters in your head! I think sometimes crazies need craziness right back. I love the idea of asking her to draw a diagram. Hilarious! I believe that this lady has way too much time on her hands. Maybe you should give her a needle and thread and ask her to make you a needle point of the diagram and then you could hang it in the parking garage.
i love your angry letters! ps. are you her previous tenant and she's just confused by the new car? bc in which case i think the appropriate letter would be "actually the previous tenant left me a note about your inability to stick to your original plan, so i'll just go ahead and park like this, but after a week i will park as i please seeing as how that was the arrangement that worked best for you two."
You're too nice to put up with that for a year. Your parking buddy is a little crazy.
This must mean you have a new car..or haven't given up your old one.
This is so crazy it's awesome. Sorry about the parking neighbor!
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