Today while I was checking my email I noticed an article on AOL pitting Jason Bourne and James Bond against each other. They share the same initials, but other than that they are very different. Bourne is edgy, vulnerable, tortured; Bond is smooth, witty, conscience-free. Bourne is on the run from the government. Bond is the government. Both are sexy - from the haircut in the first Bourne to the shower scene in Casino Royale. But which one would win the fight?
AOL compared and contrasted the two men based on their fighting tactics, car choices, love lives and more. What do you guys think?
Action Aptitude
Bond relies on a wide array of tech gadgets -- invisible cars, force-field-producing watches -- to combat his foes. Bourne prefers to use whichever household items are nearest -- magazines, books, pens -- to bludgeon his attackers into submission.
Hot Wheels
While Bond drives sleek sports cars (including his signature Aston Martin), Bourne prefers to borrow (read: steal and total) whatever vehicle is handy. This means piloting a beat-up Mini down stairs in Paris, plowing through Moscow in a taxi, engaging in a moped chase in Tangiers and hijacking a cop car in NYC.
Vicious Villains
Like mad scientist Dr. No, Bond baddies are always foreign and always have some zany plan aimed at world domination (destroy NASA, start a nuclear war, etc.). Bourne villains are predominantly CIA bigwigs (like Brian Cox) concerned with killing Jason to prevent their own butts from being thrown in jail for treason.
Love Interests
Bourne is a devoted monogamist, haunted by the death of his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente). By contrast, Bond is a womanizer who beds a bevy of babes and -- Vesper Lynd aside -- treats his many conquests (Pussy Galore, Goldfinger, Honey Ryder) with the disrespect their names seem to demand.
Lady Superiors
Both Bond and Bourne have strong female bosses in their life. The acid-tongued "M" (Judi Dench) likes to bust 007's chops but is always there for him in a pinch. And although she's not technically Jason's boss (he's his own), Pamela Landy (Joan Allen) is one of the few CIA higher-ups who don't want to make Bourne dead.
Tech Support
For Bond, tech aid comes in the form of the gadget whiz "Q" (Desmond Llewelyn, John Cleese). Bourne's go-to gal for all things tech-savvy is Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles), a sexy CIA logistics expert who helps Jason hack the CIA mainframe and may or may not have exchanged bodily fluids with him before he went amnesiac.
Travel Accommodations
When you're a superspy, trotting the globe is a foregone conclusion, but not all agents can travel in the lap of luxury as 007 does. Whether he's in Moscow, Berlin or the Big Apple, Bourne stays at nondescript holes-in-the-wall to keep a low profile, while Bond racks up the Starwood points at fancy four-star hotels.
Leisure Time
Being a world-class spy is hard work. Bond likes to unwind by drinking martinis and rolling in the hay with beautiful babes. Bourne spends his downtime mourning Marie, digging for clues to his identity or going for all-out training runs in the brutal midday heat of India. And he only uses alcohol to sanitize bullet wounds.
Assassin Attire
Bond saves the world in style, often donning a tux or suit to do battle with his foes over a vicious game of baccarat. Bourne prefers more utilitarian garments, mostly all-black ensembles, which are more comfy -- and logical -- for his day-to-day needs: killing assassins, leaping from buildings, infiltrating CIA safe houses, etc.
Personality Plus
Bond is prone to smooth banter and cheeky British humor, laden with plenty of pithy one-liners and groan-inducing double entendres. Bourne, however, is 100 percent business: direct, forceful, honest and very sparing in his words. He's not the charmer that Bond is, but as 007 would say, Bourne is quite the cunning linguist.
Moral Code
They both kill only when they have to, but Bourne actually feels bad about it. While Jason wrestles with his demons in solitude, Bond quells his conscience by bedding girls with names like Christmas Jones and cracking one liners such as, "I thought Christmas only comes once a year."
Identity Issues
Bond never goes by an "also known" and is quite proud to announce that he's "Bond, James Bond." Thanks to a case of amnesia brought on by a few gunshot wounds and a long soak in the Mediterranean Sea, Bourne goes by about 37 different aliases and doesn't know his real name until almost the end of 'Ultimatum.'
So it’s old school Bond, James Bond charm vs. Bourne out of necessity make it up as I go -- I think Bond would win the fight in style, and Bourne would just get the job done. Do I really have to choose just one? Okay fine, Bond in a tux will always win out for me :) Who would you pick?
AOL compared and contrasted the two men based on their fighting tactics, car choices, love lives and more. What do you guys think?
Action Aptitude
Bond relies on a wide array of tech gadgets -- invisible cars, force-field-producing watches -- to combat his foes. Bourne prefers to use whichever household items are nearest -- magazines, books, pens -- to bludgeon his attackers into submission.
Hot Wheels
While Bond drives sleek sports cars (including his signature Aston Martin), Bourne prefers to borrow (read: steal and total) whatever vehicle is handy. This means piloting a beat-up Mini down stairs in Paris, plowing through Moscow in a taxi, engaging in a moped chase in Tangiers and hijacking a cop car in NYC.
Vicious Villains
Like mad scientist Dr. No, Bond baddies are always foreign and always have some zany plan aimed at world domination (destroy NASA, start a nuclear war, etc.). Bourne villains are predominantly CIA bigwigs (like Brian Cox) concerned with killing Jason to prevent their own butts from being thrown in jail for treason.
Love Interests
Bourne is a devoted monogamist, haunted by the death of his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente). By contrast, Bond is a womanizer who beds a bevy of babes and -- Vesper Lynd aside -- treats his many conquests (Pussy Galore, Goldfinger, Honey Ryder) with the disrespect their names seem to demand.
Lady Superiors
Both Bond and Bourne have strong female bosses in their life. The acid-tongued "M" (Judi Dench) likes to bust 007's chops but is always there for him in a pinch. And although she's not technically Jason's boss (he's his own), Pamela Landy (Joan Allen) is one of the few CIA higher-ups who don't want to make Bourne dead.
Tech Support
For Bond, tech aid comes in the form of the gadget whiz "Q" (Desmond Llewelyn, John Cleese). Bourne's go-to gal for all things tech-savvy is Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles), a sexy CIA logistics expert who helps Jason hack the CIA mainframe and may or may not have exchanged bodily fluids with him before he went amnesiac.
Travel Accommodations
When you're a superspy, trotting the globe is a foregone conclusion, but not all agents can travel in the lap of luxury as 007 does. Whether he's in Moscow, Berlin or the Big Apple, Bourne stays at nondescript holes-in-the-wall to keep a low profile, while Bond racks up the Starwood points at fancy four-star hotels.
Leisure Time
Being a world-class spy is hard work. Bond likes to unwind by drinking martinis and rolling in the hay with beautiful babes. Bourne spends his downtime mourning Marie, digging for clues to his identity or going for all-out training runs in the brutal midday heat of India. And he only uses alcohol to sanitize bullet wounds.
Assassin Attire
Bond saves the world in style, often donning a tux or suit to do battle with his foes over a vicious game of baccarat. Bourne prefers more utilitarian garments, mostly all-black ensembles, which are more comfy -- and logical -- for his day-to-day needs: killing assassins, leaping from buildings, infiltrating CIA safe houses, etc.
Personality Plus
Bond is prone to smooth banter and cheeky British humor, laden with plenty of pithy one-liners and groan-inducing double entendres. Bourne, however, is 100 percent business: direct, forceful, honest and very sparing in his words. He's not the charmer that Bond is, but as 007 would say, Bourne is quite the cunning linguist.
Moral Code
They both kill only when they have to, but Bourne actually feels bad about it. While Jason wrestles with his demons in solitude, Bond quells his conscience by bedding girls with names like Christmas Jones and cracking one liners such as, "I thought Christmas only comes once a year."
Identity Issues
Bond never goes by an "also known" and is quite proud to announce that he's "Bond, James Bond." Thanks to a case of amnesia brought on by a few gunshot wounds and a long soak in the Mediterranean Sea, Bourne goes by about 37 different aliases and doesn't know his real name until almost the end of 'Ultimatum.'
So it’s old school Bond, James Bond charm vs. Bourne out of necessity make it up as I go -- I think Bond would win the fight in style, and Bourne would just get the job done. Do I really have to choose just one? Okay fine, Bond in a tux will always win out for me :) Who would you pick?
5 comments:
While I should say that I'd go with the monogamist who would be truly devoted (because OBVIOUSLY the reason for the fight is that they are competing for my affections) to me, I have to say that my heart belongs to Bond. Always has, always will. Maybe that's where so many of my real-life relationship problems come in? Hm...
The real problem with this type of decision is that there have been multiple Bond's and only one Bourne. If it is a all-the-Bonds-rolled-into-one v. Bourne, I'd have to pick Bourne. But if it's Daniel Craig v. Bourne, THERE IS NO QUESTION. First of all, he's tall enough. ;) Second, I pretty much adore this post and have thoroughly enjoyed contemplating these men (albeit fictitious ones).
I agree with KC. I am in LOVE with Bourne right now! Daniel Craig in his blue swim trunks may tempt me to pick otherwise...but I am going to have to say Matt Damon is one sexy man, and I couldn't get enough of him last night!
i don't know mishmybelle, but she stole my thoughts. if james bond is mr daniel craig...i pick him hands down. you just can't argue that. he jumps onto cranes, catches a gun thrown at him and immediately chucks it back at someone's head. not to mention the only sweet gadgets he uses are a difibrillator, and who can resist an ashton martin?!? i agree bourne is sexy and i love love LOLOLOVE when he blows up the house with a toaster and a magazine and gas leak in the supremacy, but i pick daniel craig... :D are you shocked?
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