We can't ever get married . . .

Dad: No more vacations! I need to leave someplace for your husbands to take you.
Mom: Please, please get married. I need grandbabies.
Kelli: If you even think about saying "Find a Man!" one more time . . .
Kristan: There just isn't any room. We wouldn't all fit in one car! (five seats, five girls)
Caisa: Boys just don't appreciate our weirdness.
Shannan: Will someone else PLEASE get a boyfriend. I'm tired of being the slut of the family.
Sam: I'll be married before all of you!

Sister #3 had me laughing hysterically at her Christmas vacation recap, so I told her I was just going to post a link. But a) I’m procrastinating and blogging is better than homework and b) she told me I’m way funnier so I had to post too. If you want some great quotes and the short version, go to her blog.

The family went on a trip that had three phases, so I think my vacation should be categorized as well: Part A, Part B1, Part B2 and Part B3.


Part A: Lazy, Lazy, Lazy Christmas

I went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 12pm.
Mom would make me breakfast - I mean really, she wanted to mother me. It was like I was doing her a favor.
Shopping: one for you, two for me style
Rock Band – worth a whole separate post

A few other highlights:
1. The annual Christmas Eve sister’s drive to see lights and sing, scratch that scream, Christmas songs so loudly people can hear us inside their homes as we drive by (with the windows up). Just a sample of our scintillating conversation: (we brought Martinelli’s along so our judgment could have been impaired)

Problem: Wait, we can’t get married! There aren’t enough seats in the car. It would just mess everything up. We can’t do this in two cars it would ruin everything!
Solution: Well, we could just put them in the trunk. (we have a Jeep so it’s not that cruel)

Problem: We need to hurry up because people might start turning their lights off. (It’s almost midnight.)
Solution: Well, no. Our lights are on timers (implying that of course everyone else’s lights are too), and they are set to go off at 2am. Because you can’t have them go off until after your guests leave at like midnight or 1am, and then you need a little extra time just to be safe. So I bet most people’s lights won’t turn off until 2am.


2. On Christmas Day night we decided we wanted to watch a movie. We own probably 5,000 movies, but we decide we must watch Mamma Mia – which we didn’t own. So of course nothing is open anymore but we are driving around hoping to find a 24hr drugstore. No luck, then Sam blurts out, “Wait! QuickTrip (a gas station) sells movies. I’m sure they’d have it.” Seriously! A gas station sells DVDs? Sam, how do you know that? We went. They had it. We now are the proud owners of a gas station DVD. We also very conveniently got 32 ouncers of Diet Coke.

3. Movies on Double-Time. My parent’s DVD player allows you to watch movies in double-time. Basically fast-forward with the sound. It’s awesome. Trust me.

Part B: Florida Roadtrip Adventure

Part B1: Shamu


Part B2: Key Lime Pie

After our pit stop in Orlando for Sea World, we drove to Key West, the southernmost point of the United States (well, continental). It was the most beautiful drive. Ocean to your left, ocean to your right. Oh, and did I mention that it was 75 degrees and sunny.



We had the BEST KEY LIME PIE . . . EVER! (you may remember my obsession) We may have stopped at the Blonde Giraffe Key Lime Pie Factory every . . . single . . . night. (Sam’s goal for the trip was to make her sweatpants tight.) They had key lime pie, key lime pie with meringue and key lime pie on a stick (frozen and dipped in chocolate). Divine.




We went snorkeling. It is the third largest coral reef and just amazingly beautiful. Some areas were so shallow we could have reached out and grabbed the fishies and coral. We saw all sorts of colorful fishies, big and small. I was so mesmerized by a jellyfish just watching it’s colors and elegant movements that for a moment I wasn’t freaked out that I was a foot away from a jellyfish! I quickly retreated. And then shortly thereafter, I saw two sharks and a barracuda. It was awesome.



Oh and did I mention we had the BEST KEY LIME PIE EVER.

Part B3. Universal, Fast Pass and Child Swap style

The only way to do the parks in Orlando is if you don’t have to wait in line. Introducing Universal Fast Passes. You can use them as much as you want, whenever you want. Call us snots, but we don’t do well being told what to do – especially if that something is to wait in line for an hour for a three minute ride.

New Year’s Eve we watched the fireworks and then rode The Mummy six times in a row. A 3 minute ride, 6 rides, 30 minutes. You do the math.


And to continue to help Sam make her sweatpants tight, we ate Churros. I won't tell you how many.



It was a fabulous vacation. Lazy first week. Fun sun filled second week.

When we landed in SLC the flight attendants announced the local time and temp. It was 9 degrees. I asked if the plane was headed back to Atlanta. But here I am, back in the Winter Wonderland wishing I was in a bathing suit in Key West eating Key Lime Pie.