"Life is hard. Move on!"

How to Talk to Girls by Alec Greven



A little eight year old boy "studied [girls], kind of . . . I observed at recess." Classic.

Chapter One: The facts of life
Sometimes, you get a girl to like you, then she ditches you. Life is hard, move on!
Tip: About 73 percent of regular girls ditch boys; 98 percent of pretty girls ditch boys.

You also have to be aware that girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power. If you know that now, things might be easier.

Chapter Two: Crushes
Many boys get crushes on girls.But it can be very hard to get a girl to like you. Sometimes it takes years! Whatever happens, just don’t act desperate. Girls don't like desperate boys.

Many boys who have crushes don’t know how to act around a girl. Some boys tease girls they like and are mean to them. Some boys say silly things to girls and act goofy. Some boys think they are acting cool by showing off. This is not a good approach.

The right thing to do when you have a crush is:
Never show off too much
Don't be silly and goofy
Control your hyperness (cut down on sugar if you need to)
Make sure you have good friends who won't try to take the girl you like.

Finally, you have to be able to get over a crush if it doesn't work out. A crush is like a love disease. It can drive you mad. Try not to let it get you down.

Hysterical.